I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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