She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
