In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
