I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
