Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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