the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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