walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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