I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
