I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
