if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
