Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
