He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
