they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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