Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
