my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
