too bad you live with your parents still
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
