Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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