It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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