My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
