I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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