Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
