I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
