It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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