My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
