mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
