never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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