I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
