some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Operation Purity has been aborted
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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