he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
