I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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