Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
