how can u be prego again
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize