It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
