I don't usually arrange sex via text message
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
