im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
