You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize