it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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