last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
