found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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