Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
