I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
