I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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