I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
one might say we're banned from that church
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
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