someone threw a dead crab at me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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