she smelled like a LAN party
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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