Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
