Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
