she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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