i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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