with your own penis?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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