I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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