don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Farmville is her only friend.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
