got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
