when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
