Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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