I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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