i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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