careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
