Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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