I love black thongs
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Shame - the story of my life.
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